The No-Bullshit Guide to Mental Health Services For Men

You’ve probably heard it before, right? “Just talk to someone.” Or “Call a crisis line!”

That’s the advice most blokes get when someone’s worried about how they’re doing. But let’s cut the bullshit — it’s not working. And instead of wondering why, we keep blaming men for not getting help.

The fact is, if getting support means booking a GP appointment, waiting six weeks, and baring your soul to a stranger who doesn’t get your world, most blokes will pass. That’s not a failure of men. That’s a failure of the system to meet men where they are and give them help that will actually work for them.

The consequences are real: suicide is the leading cause of death for men aged 15 to 44, and three out of four people who die by suicide in Australia are men. Men are more likely to have an addiction, go to prison, or end up homeless, too. That’s a crisis — and part of the problem is that the system isn’t built for what men need.

Sue Jankovic, CEO of TIACS — a service that supports blue-collar workers — puts it this way:

“Whether it’s the cost, finding the time, long wait lists, or all the red tape – it can feel too hard. And if you’ve never spoken to a counsellor before, it’s like trying to fix your ute without knowing where the bonnet latch is.”

It’s cultural, too. Naomi Frauenfelder, CEO of Healthy Heads in Trucks & Sheds, says:

“Men don’t often share their true feelings, typically due to stigma that discourages vulnerability.”

The good news? Some services get this — and they’re doing something about it.

Healthy Heads, for example, takes mental health support straight to the job site. They roll up to transport and logistics workplaces and talk to blokes on their own turf, during work hours, without the fluff.

They know truckies and warehouse workers aren’t likely to jump on a Zoom mindfulness class after a 12-hour shift. So instead, they offer education and practical support that fits the job and the culture — designed specifically for the (mostly male) workforce they serve.

TIACS – short for This is a Conversation Starter – does similar work for blokes in the blue-collar industry. Founders Dan Allen and Ed Ross saw that there were too many barriers stopping tradies, farmers and truckies from getting help, and decided to do something about it. They provide up to eight free counselling sessions by phone or online, pairing blokes in blue-collar jobs with the right person to talk to them, on their terms.

And it works. One of TIACS clients says, “I’ve never used mental health services before. After my first session today I’m geared up for my next ones.”

This is a stark difference from the experiences of many men who have given therapy a go, and never gone back for a second appointment.

Help is out there for men outside the trucks-and-trades world, too. Mensline also offers free phone and online counselling that’s specifically for men – without a referral. They help blokes struggling with their mental health, learning to deal with anger or depression, or going through the hell of divorce or separation.

Divorce, separation and family breakup can be the most stressful and damaging events a man man go through – and there’s even more help if that’s what’s happening. Dads in Distress is a service for men that’s part of Parenting Beyond Breakup – and they get what it’s like for men who feel they’ve lost everything.

Dads in Distress have a national telephone helpline, Zoom peer support meetings that run most days, weekly in-person peer support meetings locally around Australia and a safe 24/7 online dad chat group. And it works, too – 98 per cent of the Dads they surveyed say it's the best support they’ve found, and their most common regret is not having come sooner, before they got themselves into deeper issues.

Other men face more barriers, not necessarily because of their circusmtances but because of who they are or where they live. But that doesn’t mean they’re on their own, either. Brother to Brother helps Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men, Qlife provides support for gay, queer, bi and trans blokes, and Embrace Mental Health helps men from culturally and linguisticaclly diverse backgrounds.

All of these services exist for one reason: to help men, on their terms, where they are, without the judgement or discomfort we assume is going to be necessary. “We use clear, stigma-free language, share honest stories from real men working in our industry… because when men struggle to ask for help, the best thing we can do is meet them where they are,” says Sue from Healthy Heads.

Final word

Maybe you’re not feeling right at the moment. Maybe you’re going through a rough time. Maybe you wake up realising something has to change. Or maybe someone you know — a mate, brother, dad, son, or co-worker — doesn’t seem like himself.

The usual lines — “get help” or “suck it up” — aren’t the only options anymore. There’s support out there that doesn’t involve a massive bill, an awkward office, or a conversation with someone who doesn’t get you.

If you think you might need a bit of a hand — or you know someone who does — help is out there. And you’ll be welcome.

No shame. No pressure. No bullshit.

Jay Piza is a speaker, writer and advocate working on mental health. She isn't a bloke but knows quite a few people who are, and believes that everyone should have access to mental health services that are the right fit for their needs. Want Jay to speak or write for you? Email [email protected]